My wonderful neighbors...

          Good afternoon ma, I greeted iya Bisi as I walked towards my apartment. She muttered something in reply, I couldn't care less what it was she said, I had a horrible day and the last thing I needed was a lecture from the troublesome Iya Bisi.  She complained about everything I did. I was either wearing too much make up or too less make up, my gown was either too short or my blouse too revealing. (mstcheeeeeeeew) As if she was any better, considering the fact that despite her decent dressing Akin her last son wasn't Baba Bisis' he's the product of her ongoing love affair with Titus the  care taker. (mstcheeeeeeeew) Thinking of Iya Bisi made me hungry, I wore a dress and a pair of flip-flops after which I went out of my apartment to buy dinner.
          On my way out, I saw Iya Bisi and her partner Mama Oyinye doing what they knew how to do best;gossiping. As I walked past Iya Bisi beckoned to me, I retreated and gave heed to her call. Then this dialogue began...
    Iya Bisi -  Sisi Ronke where are you going at this time of the night??
(I took a look at my watch before I replied) 
   Ronke -  To buy chicken and chips at iloki Junction. 
   Iya Bisi - But it's late now, 
   Ronke -  it's just 7:30pm,that's not too late, 
   Iya Bisi -  really?? Okay o. But why can't you eat good food?? 
(the last time I checked chicken and chips was good food) 
   Ronke -  Errrrm, chicken and chips is good food too... 
   Iya Bisi -  Noo o, when talking about good food you talk about; pounded yam, fufu, amala, eba , semovita, wheat with tasty soups like Ogbono, edi kaikan, okro, bitterleaf, gbegiri,   egusi, ewedu...those ones contain good nutrients ehn! Shey you hear?? That's why you're thinner than a broomstick, when you won't eat good food... 
(when Iya Bisi and her assistant; Iya Oyinye who chipped in a thing or two were done with their evening lecture It was past 9pm, I had been standing for about 2hrs,wow!!)
   Ronke -  Thank you very much mas. 
(too tired to walk to iloki Junction, I decided I'd have to make do with the little cornflakes I had left and so I walked back to my apartment) 
   Iya Bisi - Ahan Sisi Ronke, aren't you buying your Shiken and Ships again?? 
   Ronke - No ma, it's late... I'd make do with what I have. 
   Iya Oyinye & Iya Bisi - Okay o. But don't forget all that we told you o. Start eating good food ehn!  Goodnight.

(How'd I forget your "advice" considering the fact that it's the reason why my stomach is singing and churning. Biko lemme go get my cornflakes.)

By Ademola-aliu Funke
#AAF